Questions

Summer seems to be coming to a close. Pretty swiftly I might add.

This could be seen quite a few ways. It could either be a blessing, a curse, both, or maybe even neither. Either way, it’s another chapter in your story. The only way you know how it turns out is if you keep writting the story, right?

Between trying to figure out when you’re moving for the fall, what on campus job you’ll get, or where you’ll be this time next year can get exhausting. In the mist of these questions let us not forget some of the age old ones that seem to be popping up lately as well.

We all know those age old questions that we’re going to keep asking until the end of time or until we die, which ever comes first. It’s interesting how we can find our answers in so many different places, yet they’re not really that far apart depending on how we think of them.

Some rely on science for their evidence, some rely on religious practices, and others rely on something else. It’s really dependant on how we use these tools and the way we look at them.

I mean none of them can really give us whole answers….or can they?

Perhaps if we all stopped looking at them as individual elements and looked at them together than perhaps that never ending leaky faucet of curiosity would actually get fixed. That is one of our big missions in life, whether we admit it or not. We’re all just looking for our next fix. Some just last longer than others.

If we find evidence in science our total existance cannot be explained. If they had figured everything out then we wouldn’t need to keep researching it. Religious practice comes in many forms of scripture, ritual, tradition, and so one. Still, it can only explain so much. The question of why could be answered if perhaps we looked at the two together.

I’m pretty sure pork wouldn’t have kept too well during the time of the exodus, maybe that’s why God ordered his people not to eat it. Who’s to say the big bang and evolution didn’t happen, but who’s to say God didn’t cause a star system to explode, or make evolution happen in a second rather than thousands of years.

If you look at them together, maybe we’ll realize that some explanations are evidence of His greatness, and thus make more sense of why we do things.

Yet, still so many questions can’t be answered. There are still gaps to be filled. That’s brings that third tool to help fix the faucet.

Faith…

It could be any denomination, not even belong to a religion specifically, but we all have faith in something. That something is what puts our mind at rest, or drives us crazy and asking questions. It either tells us it’s ok not to know ever answer, or maybe we should have something more to rely on.

It’s up to you to decide where you want your answers to come from, but know it’s ok to be scared of not having an answer. Life will go on whether you get it or not.

There is a very fine line between our questions and answers of any nature. There is a small gap where the two eventually meet, and that line is our faith (it’s a very pretty shade of grey).

It’s pretty scary and amazing to look at faith as a thin line, just like the line at the end of a page in a story. You have to take hold of the line at the edge of the book to see what happens next.

Keep turning those pages, because it’s the only way to get any answers.

What a Wonderful Surprise

Today I saw a movie that I thought was going to attack my beliefs, but I'm always about hearing other sides to the story. How can I make an opinion of something if I haven't experienced it. This isn't the case with all matters may I remind you, but in this situation the philosophy fits.

It was amazing!

The movie really wasn't an attack on God or Jesus. It was more stating that there is a difference between religion and God. Religion is man made, but God is more than that. It merely pointed out how well meaning people, politics, secrets, and human frailty can get in the way of God's work. It did a great job of making that point. We are flawed not God. We just need to be patient and he might reveal an understanding to us. If not then it's not meant to be discovered yet.

It was just so moving, because it showed that even though sometimes the rules in place made by God or man can seem ridiculous. There is a reason for them to be there. You'll understand once you see the movie.

There were just so many things that you can get from a movie like that. I hope that we all can open enough to receive them, and also discern what shouldn't be received.

I just thought the movie had so many powerful moments in it. The one that touched me the most was the quote by Tom Hanks.

Faith is not a gift that I have yet to be given.

I thought it was such a beautiful way to describe faith, because it really is a gift. One that I wish everyone could receive, and I pray they do. It's also a gift I hope people don't take for granted, as I often see them do. This includes myself.

Faith and Grace is something we should cherish more. I certainly should. I also don't mean in only the bad times, but in the quiet times, and in the good times.

Just a thought to think and pray about tonight.

Fear

So as bad as I want to write right now. I can't seem to form a thought that makes sense. I mean seriously. This feeling is killing me. You have no idea how long it took for me to write these few sentences.

This is getting ridiculous. I believe in a lot of things and hop and help are at the top of the list. It is just frustrating to find that hope and help I need. There are people in my life that claim they care, but I don't believe them. There are others who really do care, but they don't know what to do.

They can't do anything for me.

I just don't know how to react anymore and it hurts even worse because words are escaping me. Even in my darkest hour words were something I always had. It was just up to me to use them.

Now I'm at a stand still. A place that I don't think I've ever been before. It has me missing myself. This is so frustrating. I hate this feeling and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I have one last place to start. I guess I really do know what to do. It's just where do I go from there. I just can feel the strings slowly slipping away. I've never felt my life get like this, and I just feel so alone. I don't know what to do. I just don't know.

Yeah...

So I changed my mind. :)

Two Write Love On Her Arms

I have a new social vibe badge for TWLOHA. I'm going to try and post the new ones as I change, but I plan on keeping these up for a while.

I’m not going to lie. This week was a pretty low one for me. During one of my restless nights, I started thinking about where I am in my life and what I’ve been feeling lately. I started thinking about it like this…

How I’ve been walking around lately feels a lot like my sense of direction. If I have good directions I can get anywhere, but if I’m trying to get somewhere new or I’ve only been there a few times….I have the tendency to take a few wrong turns to say the least.

That’s where I’m at right now….trying to get somewhere new.

I have a GPS now, and it helps me out a lot. Still, it’s not perfect but it can help me get a better idea where I’m going. That’s what prayer feels like I guess. At least that’s what it feels like right now. Prayer changes as God does to us depending on the situation.

I know that might be hard to hear for some, but I believe that God does change for people. Sometimes he gives us specific answers, do this do that. Other times he wants us to learn something, so he lets us make some mistakes and take a wrong turn here and there. Yet still God is also such a constant in our lives. He’s very multifaceted in that way. I think sometimes we forget that about God.

Anyway, I was walking into work one day when I was feeling my lowest, and then God showed me a sign. I mean literally. It was next to the elevator. It had a floor plan of the building, and then in large red letters it said what I really needed at that moment.

“YOU ARE HERE”

I thought about that sign all day. Even though it didn’t get any better it still reminded me that I had air in my lungs and the sun was going to come up in the morning. It didn’t guarantee these things but it did help me feel a lot less lost. I may not know what will happen but I know I’m right here in this moment and for that I am ever so grateful.

It didn’t say “you’re going there,” “you came from some place,” “your not somewhere else.” It simply said “YOU ARE HERE.”And for now it’s where I belong.

Two Write Love On Her Arms....

Here's a cause I am pretty passionate about.

New Year...New Hope

Normally I’m not a huge holiday person. I don’t get supper excited about them. My Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas. They’re all nice days with some meaning, but they’ve just never seemed to light up my mood as it seems to do for so many others.

I would like to think that I am not the only one who feels this way, but it wouldn’t surprise me if I was.

Holidays have been over exaggerated in our culture for as long as capitalism has been around. The essence of what these holidays really mean have been drained from those few special days of the year, like a taxidermist drains the blood of a beautiful buck to stuff it’s remains to give a false appearance of the beauty it once had.

Yeah, that’s a little morbid look on holidays, but they just never seemed to matter that much. I mean everyone enjoys seeing their family and spending time with them, but shouldn’t we be happy to see them even if they don’t give us a pretty present or money because that’s what (we think) they’re supposed to do on that day of the calendar.

I don’t know it seems that people only think of stuff like that around certain times of the year. Maybe if we made a few more simple gestures towards the people we cared about when turkeys aren’t in the oven and trees aren’t being decorated, we could finally remember the true meaning of all of those days and why they really are special.

Something different happened to me this year. Something unexpected.

New Years is nice and all, but it’s never been a big deal. The main reason I like New Years is because I am always grateful for God getting me through another year and blessing me with the one to come.

Let’s be honest, you have to wonder why he puts up with some of the stupid things the human race does. I guess that’s a snap shot of Divine Love…the fireworks on New Years after midnight.
This New Years eve I was watching t.v. with my mom and TBN was showing their highlights. I don’t really watch TBN but I liked watching the highlights, because they showed some clips of their guest who have had God move in powerful ways in their life. I just found that so moving. A sense of genuine hope and excitement was filled in my heart. It’s one of the few holidays that I can remember that I truly experienced to the fullest.

I mean the fullest of the spirit of the celebration. I’m not talking about the cliché “this is what it’s all about” with the ugly sweaters, huge meal, and colored eggs. I mean really understand this is how you should feel about a new year.

I wonder if that will attest to what 2009 is going to be like. I hope so, and I hope you feel it to.

I hope you have a blessed New Year.