Fear

So as bad as I want to write right now. I can't seem to form a thought that makes sense. I mean seriously. This feeling is killing me. You have no idea how long it took for me to write these few sentences.

This is getting ridiculous. I believe in a lot of things and hop and help are at the top of the list. It is just frustrating to find that hope and help I need. There are people in my life that claim they care, but I don't believe them. There are others who really do care, but they don't know what to do.

They can't do anything for me.

I just don't know how to react anymore and it hurts even worse because words are escaping me. Even in my darkest hour words were something I always had. It was just up to me to use them.

Now I'm at a stand still. A place that I don't think I've ever been before. It has me missing myself. This is so frustrating. I hate this feeling and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I have one last place to start. I guess I really do know what to do. It's just where do I go from there. I just can feel the strings slowly slipping away. I've never felt my life get like this, and I just feel so alone. I don't know what to do. I just don't know.